Colmar Tropicale French village

Road trip. - July 11

巧遇 Duck duck

This is sick! It's the original picture 

Before going home

Baby Angel 

N a t u r a l

 You don't plan the best nights of your life, they just happen." 

Late night meet.

Hashtag broforlife

Purple Lips, Girl thoughts.

Hello there! Another sleepless night having me. So yeah, same. 静静没人找

Get obsessed with the latest filter in Snapchat.

If only if my eyes can be that big, my face can be more v shaped and chubby and that thickness sexy lips. Cute how. I vlog a lot in my drafts with this filter lol. 

What's topic for night err

About me, myself.

Trying to be an ordinary and annoying girl is hard tho

I'm the type of super wouldn't take initiative girl. If you know me well, Um hmm you'll know. 

I can go for years or centuries not talking to you if you're not come and speak to me or dah.. 

Conversely, it's strange that I can easily strike up a convo with strangers (even tho everyone keeps telling me it's dangerous, don't worry i will watch my ass out)

Nobody know the real me. Nobody know how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching . Nobody know how many times I lost hope, how many times I've been hope down. Nobody know how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap, but I don't for the sake of others. Nobody knows my thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad. How horrible they truly are. Nobody. Knows. Me. No I'm fine.

Girl.

Sometimes my yes, means yes
my yes, means still considering
my yes, means no idea/up to you
my yes, means can you not?” 
my no, means i want it. my no, means yes
This is not tongue-twister, is real shit. How complicated HUMAN? GIRLS? 


Overthinking skill game strong. 
This is what girl usually do lol. Not lying, okay 这里讲 这里算 
I'm dead inside every single time hiding feelings at day and pretend like nothing happened, i know everything will goes smoothly if I don't vent it out, before I destroyed everything. Destroyed you.

I'm sensitive as fuck to turn into overthinking 
But I respect everyone of you. If you don't tell, I won't ask
So please, my friends don't be shy. If you need a talk or listener please come over and sit down and tell me whatever irrelevant things that happened to you or bother you. And you'd make me realize I'm worth of my existence in your life, for sure you'll make my day too. Heh

I don't really know where I stand in some people's lives... 
One minute they treat me like I'm someone special, then nothing the next. Always ended up with disappointment. Be honest, it terrifies me that I never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards me and everything that they say could be one massive lie. 

Every time I used to tell them it's okay I don't mind it kind of careless act to protect my feelings. 
I do care, I mind it. Frankly. 
Susan cares a lot. 

Fuck, 3 am knows all my secrets. (Already 3 now)

After I bought my new laptop I often, no, is 24/7 on Facebook
But I always turned off my chat, I don't know why. There was a time something wrong with me in the past year so I disabled to use it lol (forgot the reason) 

I really want to be a normal girl, keep on posting selfies, updating, and expressing my feelings and emotion to public when feeling happy, sad, angry, disappointed, or even being loved, but I can't (it was the old me immature ass). 
Hey, why I think this way?

Aren't you lack of confidence? Why. Is like a defensive wall for me. 
Is kind of showing my weakest to the social. (Human will stabbed you with your weakest, destroy your life silently) idk why I feel this way perhaps I've ever been betrayed by someone past years ago. After all I did changed my mind, so yeah.

做自己难不难？ 

Susan please, you need to know

Fame doesn't define you, social media doesn't define you, YOU DEFINE YOU. 

About people 

There are too many temporary people in my journey. I hate temporary people and mostly I get murdered by them. I hate them but I adore them somehow. I have an invisible gap to deal with them (a veces) Humans. They confusing me. They simply act like idiots turns me up and down.


Let's make it simple. There are just two ways to choose, either you stay, or you get lost. Your choice.

But why, after most of them had chosen to leave and I am the one who feel sick or even lose my appetite for them and keep wasting my time wondering if they feel the same way as me, wondering if they're thinking about me too. 

When in reality, they aren't. 

While I'm making them my priority, they're only making me an option. Truly that's just how it is. 

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feel like this and they are still living their joyful life like I'm so easy being replaced. 

Why? humans.



Sometimes I regret opening up to some people, they didn't deserve to know me like that. 
I should learn not to tell so much about myself to them, temporary people. 
I should learn to shut the fuck up, day by day. 
I'm so scare to rely on too many of them when they stop constantly keep in touch with me and that don't talk anymore kind of strange feeling is killing me.
But it's ok, time heals everything. 
Or maybe I'm just losing interest against them
Never mind go ahead. Realize who's worth it, and who's not. Watch.

There is honestly no reason to lie to me. I'm too understanding. I get it. 

I know that shit happens, just be straight up with me, I will respect you more tbh k

Okay, Susan listen here!

Do not chase people. Work hard and Be you.

 The right people who belong in your life will come over and find you and stay. Do your thing.

To be honeeeeeeeeeessssssssssttttttttttttttt

I don't like argument. I'd rather quit if you start, but then everything between you and me will fall apart (nothing left). You know how tired it is to maintain in the cold war? You want to fight? Sure, you dare to have a try. 

I love people who talk about music to me. Sharing their playlist with me and tell me what's you think about this songs. Analyze the lyrics by words to words

I like people who I can occasionally have really deep conversations with, and at the same time joke around with me. I feel comfortable around them. Just a few of them I can joke around after my college life(oh how i miss my highschool nuts). Where can I find more of them in my real life,(I'm craving).

I stalk myself a lot... like I'll go through my own Twitter, Instagram and watch my story way more than I do anyone else lmao I just love me. My Twitter is the quietest place I'd use to tweet all my un-filter thoughts lol, secrets stop telling. My Instagram is awesome with the new feature 'My story'

I read a lot of quotes in a day, just to keep myself in positive blood type. 

I have a dream, I wanna sit on a rooftop with someone at 3am just looking at the stars.

I get easy to feel being abandon. When I'm alone, when people didn't reply my messages, why can't you just reply a simple message before you end your talk.. I should get used to it, people usually do. So people out there, if you leave someone at least tell them why, because what's more painful than being abandoned is knowing you aren't worth an explanation, busy or not interested to talk to, is just fine. Just tell

I'm a sleepy girl. I actually believed that i could be truly happy after grown up but we don't always get what we want.  May sleep fixes everything. If I didn't reply your messages or pick up your call, I'm 80% sleeping or phone dying. either. 

I am the repeal type. When I'm sad/mad I deleted things, everything in my phone. Then after the ups and downs of mood I regret all the things I had eliminated. Hmm I wish someone would stop me while I'm looking at my phone when I'm on fire.  

Funny how, I have an allergic on milk.  It causes my fingers peeling, swollen, more even worse was bleeding. I had been stand for almost 3 years. Can you imagine how funny it is? When everyone was eating the food that made by milk and I'm just sat in front them and watched them to have it. Yeah, it was getting better after I started my college, but lately it comes back to me idk why. Hmm

This is important, I always remind myself be the person that I want to meet. I just do so, caring others. I just can't stop showing my maternal love: when I saw someone wearing a inexplicable wounds, when I heard someone coughing, when I caught someone yawning, anything I had observed I care them.

I built mini-reminders around me.
Always. -save some quotes to myself. Spread some good vibes, Everyday.

No matter what's going on, Susan

Let your pain make you.
Let your sorrow guide you.
Let your mistakes teach you 
But never let your defeat beat you.

You can. 

Everything will be fine. #jiayousc 

Sleep well and happy weekend my readers. v